28 September 2015

Max is scared.

Max is scared of scary things and not scary things.

He is scared of big things and little things. He is scared of quiet things and loud things. He is scared of things he knows he's scared of, and things that he doesn't know he's scared of. He's scared of 100% of the unknown, and 75% of the known.

Toilets. Rubber snakes. Real snakes. Car washes. Thunder. Rain. Lightning. Alive bugs. Dead bugs. Bugs who might die soon. Cars. Scooters that are moving. Scooters that are not moving. Holes. Darkness. The word "spider." Spiders that aren't just words. Paper crumpled into scary shapes. Shadows. Wind. Turning left. Anything Miles finds fun. Dogs. Cats. Animals with beating hearts. Pictures of animals. Bunnies. Fish. Climbing. Sunlight. McDonald's PlayPlace. Lint. (Because Lint looks like bugs.) Jumping too high. Kisses. Life. All of it.

When Max gets scared, he screams a scream unlike any scream in the entire world. Tonight he was washing his hands in the powder room and the door was closed and the toilet began running, and he FREAKED. The scream said, "I've been electrocuted by a leech that stuck it's leechy head out of the outlet." We ran as fast as we've ever run before and once we figured out it was the Fear Scream, our hearts returned to normal and we managed to pry him off Daddy's chest.

Somehow, even with his North Pole-sized list of fears, Max is the adrenaline junkie. I can't figure out if his adrenaline is kept in a constant a state of motion due to his fears, or if screaming in terror is just another way to feel the rush. He's the maniac of the two who's always running faster, hitting harder, screaming louder, laughing longer, and Miles is his faithful companion. What's crazy is how much Miles comforts him and works SO hard to make Max feel safe, even at 2.5. If Max is stuck in fear at the top of the PlayPlace, Miles hugs him until rescuers arrive. If Max is paralyzed next to the sandbox due to a potential bug sighting, Miles is running for Mama faster than Max can react. If Max is screaming in front of a rubber snake, Miles is the one dangling it in front of him. Brothers make the man, they say. Max is so afraid of rubber snakes that the kids actually beg me to buy them so they can "see if he's still scared." Mmmm hmmm.

Someday he won't be afraid of the toilet, or rubber snakes, or lint. But I won't get to hold him on my lap and cuddle it all away, either. Fear on, Max. Fear on.

1 comment:

Katherine said...

How blessed the boys are to have each other!