28 February 2014

Remember when...

...I just wanted them to be over four pounds?

Update for you'n

I am listening to my daughters fight and wondering just how I'm going to make it through the next two hours. Come home,daddy! 

Yesterday's colonoscopy was just heavenly. You know, as heavenly as a colonoscopy can be. It all went fine, but the results were less than fantastic, sadly. I knew that my condition would be found to have progressed, but nobody likes hearing it, and let me just tell you, I am the queen of denial and optimism. 

The gist is this. My own particular brand of the disease has progressed, I am sicker than I have been before and I am starting to feel a little down. The idea of chronic pain is still relatively new to me as this disease never really caused me any pain. With each pregnancy, another painful part of it started to introduce itself, bringing me to where I am now. I now have more affected area in my colon and two large ulcers, as well as an eventual concern about perforation, should I go unmedicated. I go back in Tuesday to talk a little more in depth, and we'll start talking about drugs at that time. I anticipate starting immunosuppressive therapy within the month, which sounds positively thrilling, compared to what I'm dealing with right now. Most mornings I feel like I've been hit by a train, my abdomen is sore almost all the time, I'm tired most of the day and I feel pretty shaky doing almost everything. At this point, the thought of any drug that could give me relief is just so exciting. I just wish it was already Tuesday. 

On the other hand, the drugs come with risks. The thought of my life being shortened because of a drug I'm taking voluntarily makes me want to cry. My emotional state is not great right now, knowing what I'm about to sign up for. It's not easy to find a lot of happy stories about all of this, and I'm so tired of worrying. I want to live to at least 85. I want great grandchildren climbing all over me. I want to hold hands with my wrinkly old husband and laugh about how he can never find his wallet. I want to look for my reading glasses all morning and let Andrew yell, "they're sitting right on your damn head, you nut!" I want to drive my children as crazy as they drive me. I'm scared of all the side effects listed in the BOOKS that come with these drugs. I don't want to go in for blood tests every six months and wonder if this is the draw that will mean extra testing. 

I'm just nervy and now I'm being all pitiful. I'm not a pitiful person, and look at me! Acting like a complete baby about my freaking colon. I need more drama in my life. If all I have to worry about is my colon, I'm pretty sure my life is cake. 

Well, I have to drag myself out from under my cozy blankets and clean my house. The kids are outside singing Annie songs, so now is the perfect time to crack the whip and make them clean their room, right? "This place better shine like the top of the Chrysler building!" 

Don't worry about me, folks. It's probably just PMS and a lack of chocolate talking right now. What can you really expect from a stay at home mom of five on a Friday afternoon? It's a miracle I haven't gone completely batty at this point! 

On ANOTHER note, it's Molly Rose's 5th birthday! I'll put all of the birthday party pictures up soon, but until then, just imagine the most awesome Despicable Me party EVER, and you'll be very close to the experience. Tonight we're having homemade Mac and cheese, French dips, hot dogs, chocolate cake and ice cream with our sweet baby girl. What a little treasure she is. There is nothing quite so sweet as being loved by Molly Rose. 

26 February 2014

Well, today is our first day back at this homeschooling thing. Molly is beginning kindergarten with Catholic Heritage Curricula, and Lucy will begin second grade with the same program in July. 

This morning started out great, but with my health issues, we only got about an hour of work done before I got sick. Luckily, kindergarten is simple and we have all day. Lucy actually stayed home today, as her school is testing and she's incredibly bored there this week. Her teacher is also out with a broken arm, so we decided she could skip a day of busy work and stay home to catch up on religious ed work. We worked on about three chapters, and did most of Molly's work before I started getting sick, so that was awesome. Claire is really into it, and she had a great time chiming in and participating. 

However. My expectations were again dashed a bit. I was forced to admit that with homeschooling, we will have to use our entire day, and I will have to be more flexible than I was willing to be this am. I had grand visions of sitting down at 8am and all of the girls sitting attentively at the table, but it turned into Claire screaming the Glory Be while she jumped on the couch, two 14-month-olds growling under the table, Lucy begging me for busy work when I really wasn't prepared and Molly crying because she'd rather use a glue stick than a pencil. I just took a deep breath and thoughts to myself, "I have all day. I am the queen of this castle and there is nothing to do but love them." I made them some cinnamon rolls, sorted some laundry and re-applied my smile. Today is going to be challenging anyway, because mommy can't eat the day before a colonoscopy. Gag. I'm already starving and it's not even noon! So that really doesn't help my mood...

I think that the hardest part of homeschooling Molly is NOT homeschooling Lucy in the interim. I just want her home with us!  She is such an eager learner and I know it'll be so fun having her here in the summer. We will be starting the official school year in July, but Molly is getting started now with kinder and we will work slower in the summer and fall and let her absorb Lucy's work as we go. Kindergarten is really just a time of getting into routines and setting practices in place, so Molly's biggest job in the next few months is to help me work out the kinks in the schedule and getting the younger ones used to practicing patience. 

Laundry calls, you know...and so does my stinky Claire. Looks like I have just enough time to bathe everyone before lunch! And then I get to watch everyone eat lunch...sigh.

24 February 2014

Max up top on tactical, Miles down below for ground support and backup.

That awkward moment...

...when you're stuck in a drawer and Mommy would rather take pictures than rescue you. You know that moment.

22 February 2014

Superheroes in the tub.

Why Texas is exactly my style.

Because it's February 22nd and I'm in a sun hat and flip flops with my babies outside in their diapers. Lucy just said, "I'm going to go in and change into my summer clothes!" 

I wasn't born here, but I got here as fast as I could.

it's meant to be ironic

this shirt was $3 on clearance yesterday at the Wal-Marts. it's funny because there is absolutely nothing about me that "rocks." i'm not really even sure how one goes about "rocking." 

for instance. here's a multiple choice. Denote the symbol for "rocking" by choosing one answer below. 

f.     none of the above

here's my thought process. "a looks like sign language. but isn't it all sign language? b could be it. but isn't there a college (or 12) that has some sort of horn symbol? I live in Texas now and can't display any sort of collegiate allegiance within the Republic. Go Bobcats! c? c is for surfing, maybe. d?  d could definitely be it. you mess with the eagle on the bike, you get the talons. not e. i'm going with f."

These two.

I tell you what. I am so addicted to these boys. I could just gobble them up.

21 February 2014

Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia. Prednisone insomnia.

Tomorrow is going to blow. 1:44am. My head in tingling and I'm starting to get a little irritated. Zzzzzzz...

20 February 2014

One boy?

A work out. Two boys? A marathon.

Reading a book...

...while the little guys play on their slide.

how we do lunch

2:30pm, super long naps out of the way, cheese, ham and ritz crackers, Stone at attention. 

all sorts of excitement around here.

friends, it has been a long time. i have no excuses. well, i have a LOT of excuses, if you want me to go there. No? Okay. Let's just make a clean start of it. 

So, things in our world are just rollicking. The boys are 14m, Mo turns 5 next week, Lucy is nearly seven and Claire is juuuuuust about 3.. She's having a Dora party. No, really, just ask her. Please ask her. If you ask, maybe she'll stop talking to me. 

Just a couple of weeks ago, Andrew and I celebrated our 8th anniversary! What a blessing I have in that amazing man. What's amazing is the number of forms our relationship takes as we do this thing together, and how it always stays the same. He is such an amazing leader to our family, and it seems like he becomes more confident and attuned to our needs as the years go on. Andrew continues to embrace our faith and is doing an amazing job communicating that to his children, namely, by loving their mother. Being married to him is something I take so much pride in. He's just one of those people who continues to surprise, never seems to miss an opportunity and really has life by the tail. Marriage seems to be one of those things that gets more amazing by the day, and for us, 8 years feels like 8 minutes some days. 

For our anniversary, Andrew surprised me with dinner and a painting class, which was super fun. It was something I really didn't see coming, and I loved that little surprise. We had a great time and ended our evening with a late movie. And of course, he brought me some beautiful flowers! The girls just love it when he brings me flowers, so they were a major point of interest for almost two weeks. 

Lucy is doing great in school, and has been on a bit of a downhill slope this winter, what with weather being what it is and her teach breaking her arm. She's in substitute heaven, loving the fact that she has no homework and all the recess. I'm hoping things will pick up a bit in the spring and she'll get back to some real work. It feels like this is happening all over the country right now, with the number of snow days everyone is having. 

Molly is chugging along, her usual sunny self. She's starting to read, which is super exciting for all of us. Lucy is tickled to death every time she sounds out a word! We're starting off with the Bob books and will move into an actual curriculum once we finish those. 

I wish I had more to say about Claire, but if I get started on that, I'll never stop talking. Claire is a sassy little thing, and she seems to come up with more craziness every day. She never stops talking, and almost everything she says is hilarious. She prefers to eat nothing but peanut butter and strawberries, and is still completely attached to her Blankie. Poor Blankie gets a lot of abuse around here. 

The boys are doing great, growing like CRAZY. At their last appointment they were both 24.876 lbs, and the nurse was a little shocked that they're so in sync. We weren't, of course. These boys are truly like two sides of the same coin! Max is our fun-loving party animal, and Miles is the cuddly thinker, which is really odd, because they seemed like complete opposites in the womb. It makes me wonder if Baby A turned out to be Miles after all. We haven't mixed them up since birth, but I'm thinking that Baby B must have been pulled first and named Max, so the baby we were calling Miles in the womb is actually Max now. It's the only answer. 

Stone is fine, if you were wondering. He does very little but provide love and bark at the front door. He usually goes out at 11am (for the first time that day) and is back into his cozy bed within 15 minutes. He does all his eating in the afternoon, preferring to snack until dinner. He gets very little exercise, but may run around the yard once every couple days. In short, it's a good life when you're a Great Dane in a family with five kids. He's endlessly patient and lets the kids climb all over him and pull and him, but they really don't notice him much, as he's mainly a lump in the corner of the living room. 

I am doing okay, aside from being the super-busy mama of five small kids. Things just chug along around here, and as long as we have food in the fridge and clean laundry, it all seems to work itself out. Health-wise, things are rocky, but nothing that'll kill me today. I'm on a big dose of prednisone right now for my Crohn's disease, and I've gotta say, it's sure nice being a stay-at-home mom if I have all these things to deal with. The big of each kid has brought a different piece of the Crohn's puzzle, and it seems like every post-partum period introduces a symptom I hadn't experienced before. I have more appointments scheduled for next week and expect to be starting some heavy-hitting biologic drugs this spring. As I've gone 20 years without a remission, it's important that I get this under control. I am so blessed to have a husband who is so caring and empathetic, and if I'd ever wondered why we've been blessed with such quiet, happy children, there is no doubt in my mind now!

We have a very quiet weekend planned around here. No plans, maybe a hike this afternoon...I think we're going to take a little family trip to walmart for car maintenance supplies and try to get a few things done on Andrew's trusty steed, as well. I believe we're out of bananas, and anyone who knows this family knows that a day without bananas is like a day without sunshine when you have five small children!

19 February 2014

face time with grandma susie.

i just signed in to face time on my new ipad. it said grandma susie was available. you KNOW i was all over that. turns out she wasn't available after all. sigh. I'm fairly certain that ipads can reach heaven. 

18 February 2014

Super Cozy #flipagram made with @flipagram Music: Tegan and Sara - Everything Is AWESOME!!! (feat. The Lonely Island) http://flipagram.com/f/51FvNecRsm


No. There is absolutely nothing cuter.